Mark ♥ James ♥ Alderman

1969 - 1996
LocationCardiff South Wales
Age27 years
Cause of DeathMisadventure
Date of Birth24/07/1969
Date of Death07/10/1996
Visitors9,551 since 22/03/2007
Creator
Helpers



*** PLEASE READ ***
A HUGE THANKYOU TO EVERYONE WHO CONTINUES TO LIGHT CANDLES ETC FOR MY PRECIOUS ANGELS. LOVE TO YOU
AND YOUR ANGELS ALWAYS XXX




Mark James Alderman was born on 24-07-69 to Cynthia and Clifford Alderman and passed away on
07-10-96 due to suicide??
Mark left behind two sisters, two brothers, two nieces and two nephews who are broken hearted.

When we remember your smile,
It brightens our day,
And thoughts of your warmth and love,
Seem to smooth the way,
Your gentle spirit is still with us,
Though you are gone,
Sunny days, cool breezes,
Always for you, Mark.

I as his devoted sister will tell his story.
Mark suffered a fit at the age of 8yrs which stopped his breathing for 4mins. At the time our
parents were told that there were no lasting effects from this but time told a different story...
As we grew up Mark seemed to be developing 'normally', we'd play together and fight as siblings so
often do but we were all weary of his outbursts which could often be violent ~ not towards anyone
but towards furniture, toys etc. Mark was under a school phycologist whilst at school and in todays
society he'd be classed as having ADHD. As Mark grew from a child to a teenager his outbursts and
violence grew with him and no-one could control him. When i left home to start my family Mark would
often visit and happily play with my children for hours, he would also help me if needed. Mark and i
had ALWAYS shared a special bond and although his violence frightened me, my love for him remained
and will continue to do so. I saw Mark as an individual and all his problems were part of his
personality. My parents were both disabled and found it extremally difficult to cope with the
outbursts and at times things got so bad that Mark had to be sectioned under the mental health act.
It would sometimes take up to six police officers to take him to hospital and although this broke
our hearts to see him man-handled we knew we were doing the right thing for him. After our parents
died i became Mark's full time carer and believe me it wasn't at all easy. I had four children to
bring up on my own and coping with Mark too i was often exhausted but he was my brother and somehow
i found the strength to cope with it all. I often had to have him sectioned myself because of his
paranoia but i'd visit him most days, on the days i couldn't visit we'd chat several times per day
on the phone.
A couple of weeks before his last hospitalisation he believed people were going to kill him ~ at
times even me !!! I contacted his support workers who came and assessed him, Mark believed that i'd
made them visit so that i could arrange his killing. As you can imagine it was heart wrenching to
hear your own brother, the brother you loved so dearly say such things but i had no choice. It was
confirmed that my beautiful brother was suffering with Paranoid Schizophrenia so he was sectioned
again for his own protection. He had to remain in hospital for the first week under special care
having 10min obs, this meant that he wasn't allowed off the ward (which was locked) without
supervision. I'd have to visit him every day especially at meal times, so that i could taste the
food offered to make sure it wasn't 'poisoned', if i couldn't visit he'd go hungry. On my visits i
noticed a lot of amosity between my brother and one of the care workers, but i put it down to me
caring too much if you know what i mean. Once his medication and sedatives had his condition under
control he was allowed to visit me for short periods of time. I was in the process of arranging for
Mark to come and live with me and was indeed rearranging my home so that he could have a room of his
own without having to share with my son. He was coming home with me on 10th Oct with lots of support
for me to help me cope but due to the Mark's mental health i wasn't allowed to tell him until the
day i went to collect him.
On 7th Oct Mark came to visit me for a couple of hours, he'd brought with him a gorgeous onyx ring
in the shape of a heart, he'd lovingly bought it for my birthday which was the 9th Oct. When it was
time for him to return to the hospital he said he'd seen a car with four men inside, each of these
men had guns and were going to kill him if he went outside. I contacted the hospital who arranged
for a taxi to collect him from here and take him back to the hospital, it is with heavy heart that i
say it was the last time i was to see him alive. In the evening we spoke on the phone and i told him
that i'd be in to see him the next day, he asked me to buy him some pop, crisps and pasties, we then
said we loved eachother and said 'see you tomorrow'.
At 12.30am on the 8th Oct i was woken by a knock at my door, when i opened it i saw two female
nurses from the ward Mark was on and i knew instantly that he was dead. I can remember screaming
'Not my baby bro, please not my baby bro'. :'(
The nurses lead me into the living room and told me that Mark had asked if he could have a bath
shortly after speaking to me. They told me that he had been checked on at 10.10pm and was said to be
in the bath washing and all was well. At 10.20pm when he was checked again he was found dead -
Hanging from the bathroom door frame by his bootlace. I didn't believe this because Mark was in good
spirits when i'd spoken to him and no way would a bootlace hold his weight without snapping. He was
about 5ft 8in and weighed approx 18stone plus the door frame was only 6ft off the floor with an
opening at the top for security purposes. I contacted the police officers that had attended the
death scene, they told me that my brother had not had a bath that night, there was no sign of his
towel or toiletries and the bath was DRY, they also said that he had a ball of dry silver hair in
one of his hands. If Mark had taken a bath as described by a 'male nurse' the bath would have been
WET and where did the hair come from? My brother's hair was ginger !!! I didn't believe that my
brother had committed suicide and although the hospital didn't approve i insisted on a post mortem.
After the PM (at a different hospital) i was asked to identify him which was to take place on my
birthday 9th Oct. My brother Johnny came with me because i felt i couldn't do it alone and after i
confirmed Mark was my brother we were allowed to spend some time with him. This is going to sound
disgusting to most of you but when we were left alone i just had to look at Mark's body, call it
instinct but i had a feeling something wasn't quite right. He had no bruising other than that left
by the PM but i noticed that he had a puncture wound to the inside of his right elbow, this i
thought strange because all his medication had been given orally. I asked the assistant at the
mortuary if any injection had been given for any reason and was told no. I then contacted the
hospital to have a copy of all his medical records sent to me, at first they refused so i contacted
a solicitor who then contacted the hospital on my behalf. I eventually got all his records which
confirmed he had recieved no injection prior to his death and had no way of getting it himself... As
we all know all meds in a hospital are locked away.
My solicitor contacted the coroners office and arranged to have an inquest into Mark's death which
took several months.
In the meantime i arranged his funeral and had a call from the hospital to ask if some of the staff
could attend. I gave permission for the two nurses who came to my home permission to attend but felt
i couldn't trust any of the others until i knew the truth. At Mark's funeral my daughter who was
just 11yrs old wrote a few words to read out in Marks memory, she found it difficult so i tried my
hardest to continue for her but my tears were flowing to readily and i couldn't read the words. The
nurse who i had grown to trust came to our rescue and continued for us. It was a very touching
moment for his family and many friends who had filled the church. Mark's service was beautiful and
going into the church we played 'he aint heavy, he's my brother' and leaving we played 'you'll never
walk alone'. Mark was a great supporter of Liverpool FC so i thought that song would be perfect.
Outside the church a young lady approached me and said the words i'll never forget... I loved Mark
with all my heart and i just wish i had had the guts to tell him how i felt but i was afraid of
rejection. Mark was then cremated and his ashes buried with his mum and dad.
THE INQUEST
I had a barrister fighting my case at the hearing in April 97 and several witnesses were called. One
of the police officers told a different story to the hospital as stated above and the male nurse who
had 'found' my brother had SILVER HAIR, he also had issues with my brother but as i said earlier i
thought i was being the over protective big sister. This so called male nurse had NO QUALIFICATIONS
in mental health care, so even the coroner was surprised that he was in the environment of caring
for sick mental health patients. This nurse claims that he heard Mark washing in the bath and asked
if he was ok, but the evidence of the police says different. He said that Mark had not been given
any injections prior to his death and when asked about the needle mark he said he had no idea as to
why he had this mark. After he had given his 'lying evidence' he practically ran from the court room
with his head bowed, if he had nothing to hide he would have stayed throughout the rest of the
hearing, not run away like the liar he really is.
The judge said that he couldn't decide whether or not Mark was helped in any way to commit suicide,
had no proof where the ball of hair had come from or who gave the injection, so he could only offer
an open verdict.

Mark
I don't know what happened to you that night but i'll never forgive myself for putting you in
hospital and not telling you that you were coming home to stay with me. You were a wonderful person
and would help anyone in need. I'll never forget you my angel and i hope you're happy now that
you're with mum and dad.
Sleep peacfully bro xxxxxxxxx


Recent Gifts

Recent Tributes


page:
2
... 63

Hugs From Heaven
by Charlotte Anselmo

When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high.

If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
They've added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose.

If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From someone special up above.

If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.

If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel lace.

So keep the joy in your heart
If you're lonely my dear friend
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A broken heart will mend.

with love theresa xxx

Theresa Waters (GTS Friend) September 20, 2009

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
┊   ┊┊   ┊┊ ✿
┊   ┊┊  ✿✿FOR SOMEONE
┊   ┊┊  
┊   ✿✿WHO IS

✿VERY SPECIAL

▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒
░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░
░░░░░████████░░░░░
░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓


REST IN PEACE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
┊   ┊┊   ┊┊ ✿
┊   ┊┊  ✿✿
┊   ┊┊  
┊   ✿✿

Dana Sister Of Mar'Yan Petriv September 11, 2009

A Bend In The Road

♥ღ♥ When we feel we have nothing left to give
and we are sure that the song has ended,
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
and the darkness of night has descended,
Where can we go to find the strength
to valiantly keep on trying?
Where can we find the hand that will dry
the tears that the heart is crying?

There's but one place to go and that is to God,
and dropping all pretense and pride,
We can pour out our problems without restraint
and gain strength with Him at our side.
And together we stand at life's crossroads
and view what we think is the end.

But God has a much bigger vision,
and He tells us it's only a bend,
For the road goes on and is smoother,
and the pause in the song is a rest,
And the part that's unsung and unfinished
is the sweetest and richest and best.

So rest and relax and grow stronger
let go and let God share your load.
Your work is not finished or ended
you've just come to a bend in the road ♥ღ♥

with lots of love theresa x

Theresa Waters (GTS Friend) September 10, 2009

Friday 4th Sept

Although you now walk with God, you are still in our memories and our hearts.you are missed by your family and family of friends...your spirit will dwell in our dreams, until we meet again.☆

Saturday 5th Sept
♥ღ♥ I close my eyes and picture you, a beauty I used to see, a love that I will never forget that lives in the heart of me ♥ღ♥

Sunday 6th Sept

His/her helping hand was always first to render any aid he/she could. His/her voice was always raised in praise, his/her words were wise and good. Dear Angel, since you've gone away, the ones you loved so true, try hard to carry on the way, we know you'd want us to.

Monday 7th Sept

���`����,� �,����`����,��,�
A candle lit because we love you so
Missing you more than anyone will know
���`����,� �,����`����,��,�

Tuesday 8th Sept

♥ANGEL: A Kiss We Send To Heaven x A Kiss We Send Above x A Kiss That Is Very Special ♥ For The Angel That We Love xxx

Wednesday 9th Sept

GONE BEYOND OUR LOVE & CARE *♥+ BUT NOT BEYOND OUR THOUGHT AND PRAYER *♥+ JUST AS YOU WERE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE *♥+ A BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT IN OUR MEMORY *♥

Thursday 10th Sept

♥Our tears will never bring you back, our wishes are all in vain, the smile we have on our face, is there to hide the pain.♥

Friday 11th Sept

♥I came to light a candle and fill it with love,it burns now brightly up in heaven above.♥

Saturday 12th Sept

�•.♥.•�.�•. ♥.•�.�•.♥.•� �.. ♥ There is a home that lies beyond And past it’s golden door Awaits the one who’s now away not lost - just gone before ..�•.♥.•�.�• . ♥.•�.�•.♥.•� �.. ♥

I would just like to say, that we as a family really do appreciate all the support that you have given and shown us since being on here and losing our angels.All your kind words are so lovely and we are very grateful that you spend the time to keep my angels candles alight.

Love sent to our special angels always and forever, Sam, Gordon, Jimmy and Charlie xxxxxxxxx

Gordon-Sams Family September 4, 2009

Death is just another step
Along life’s changing way,
No more than just a gateway
To a new and better day.

And parting from our loved ones
Is much easier to bear,
When we know that they are waiting
For us to join them there.



So death is just a natural thing
Like the closing of a door,
As we start upon a journey
To a new and distant shore.

And none need make this journey
Undirected or alone,
For God promised us safe passage
To this vast and great unknown.



So let your grief be softened,
And yield not to despair,
You have only placed your loved one
In the loving Father’s care.

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

Carol Gerry X Spud (Friend) August 24, 2009

I am away for a few days break from monday 17th until friday 21st...so i'll light you candles now and send you all my love...see you saturday morning angel xxxxxxxxxx

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ FOR MONDAY Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

*★ * Take Care our beautiful angel *★ * In Heaven Up Above *★ * And Until we See You *★ * We Send Up All our Love *★ *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ FOR TUESDAY Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

ჱܓIf every tear we shed for you Became a star up above. You'd stroll in Heaven's Garden Lit with ever Lasting Love. ჱܓ

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ FOR WEDNESDAY Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

♥ Watch Over Us From Heaven ♥ And Help Us Through This Pain ♥ We Will Always Love And Miss You ♥ Until We Meet Again ♥

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ FOR THURSDAY Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

⊱✣⊰ Just like the sweetest rose ♥ your petals fell too soon ♥ but the love you planted in our hearts ♥ will never cease to bloom ⊱✣⊰

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ FOR FRIDAY Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

☀ A beautiful memory dearer than gold of an angel whose worth can never be told. There's a place in our hearts no one can fill we miss you angel and always will ☀

Love Always Elaine xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Xxx Elaine Riley Xxx (Friend) August 16, 2009

I'm so sorry ....

I have just realised that this year was your 40th birthday and we didn't celebrate it as we should have. Your 40th should have been a big deal and I missed it. I'm so sorry Uncle Mark.

Love you always xx

Louise C Brown (Niece) August 12, 2009

*♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥*
~ In My Mind (by Jenn Farrell) ~

Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there,
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair."
You say you were chosen for His garden
His preciously hand picked bouquet,
"God really needed me
That's why I couldn't stay."
It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above,
I've always had my angel
Whose heart was filled with love.
Wherever the ocean meets the sky,
There will be memories of you and I.
When I look up at that sky so blue,
All I see are visions of you.

"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."
*♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥* *♥*

Mel Xxxxx August 10, 2009

my rock

my rock Sometimes I catch myself
Thinking, "When I phone,
I can talk of this or that!"
Then remember, I'm alone

you was always there
To answer my calls -
To listen to my "small talk"
Or when I climbed the walls.

At times, I didn't feel like talking
And somehow, you understood -
you Didn't say you wished I'd call
Or make me feel like I should.

Now, I wish I would have
More times, to show I cared -
To say, just how important
Were, all those times we shared.

I could have shown my love
So much more than I did -
I never, did it enough
Even when I was a kid.

Now it's too late to do or say
All those things I wish I had -
No way to ease the pain inside
When my heart is sad.

you was my "anchor" to this life -
The "rock", that I clung to -
The place, where I could turn
When, nowhere else would do.
Now, the ravages of time
Have worn my "rock" away -
And all I have to cling to
Are memories of yesterday.

with love theresa xxx

Theresa Waters (GTS Friend) August 8, 2009

✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞

♥ The Promise ♥
(by Diane Robertson)

Of angel wings and heavenly things
There’s very little known,
For those who have the answers
Are, forever, from us gone.
Life in the hereafter,
In faith, I must accept;
Thoughts that trouble not the people
With families still intact.
But, those of us who’ve travelled
Down the lonely path of grief,
Are forever seeking answers
To the riddle, which is life.
We trek through shadowed forests
Past the ugly shroud of death,
Toward a promise for the future
Of a kinder, better place.
So, we look to see the angel wings
And listen for the hymn
That God will send to guide us
When we leave to be with Him.

✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞•✝•♥•✞

Mel Xxxxx August 5, 2009
page:
2
... 63
From Jan
From Jan
From Sheila
From Jan
From Jan
From Jan
From Jan
From Bon
From Jan
From Jan
From Jan