Mark ♥ James ♥ Alderman

Mark James Alderman was born on 24-07-69 to Cynthia and Clifford Alderman and passed away on 07-10-96 due to suicide??
Mark left behind two sisters, two brothers, two nieces and two nephews who are broken hearted.

When we remember your smile,
It brightens our day,
And thoughts of your warmth and love,
Seem to smooth the way,
Your gentle spirit is still with us,
Though you are gone,
Sunny days, cool breezes,
Always for you, Mark.

I as his devoted sister will tell his story.
Mark suffered a fit at the age of 8yrs which stopped his breathing for 4mins. At the time our parents were told that there were no lasting effects from this but time told a different story...
As we grew up Mark seemed to be developing 'normally', we'd play together and fight as siblings so often do but we were all weary of his outbursts which could often be violent ~ not towards anyone but towards furniture, toys etc. Mark was under a school phycologist whilst at school and in todays society he'd be classed as having ADHD. As Mark grew from a child to a teenager his outbursts and violence grew with him and no-one could control him. When i left home to start my family Mark would often visit and happily play with my children for hours, he would also help me if needed. Mark and i had ALWAYS shared a special bond and although his violence frightened me, my love for him remained and will continue to do so. I saw Mark as an individual and all his problems were part of his personality. My parents were both disabled and found it extremally difficult to cope with the outbursts and at times things got so bad that Mark had to be sectioned under the mental health act. It would sometimes take up to six police officers to take him to hospital and although this broke our hearts to see him man-handled we knew we were doing the right thing for him. After our parents died i became Mark's full time carer and believe me it wasn't at all easy. I had four children to bring up on my own and coping with Mark too i was often exhausted but he was my brother and somehow i found the strength to cope with it all. I often had to have him sectioned myself because of his paranoia but i'd visit him most days, on the days i couldn't visit we'd chat several times per day on the phone.
A couple of weeks before his last hospitalisation he believed people were going to kill him ~ at times even me !!! I contacted his support workers who came and assessed him, Mark believed that i'd made them visit so that i could arrange his killing. As you can imagine it was heart wrenching to hear your own brother, the brother you loved so dearly say such things but i had no choice. It was confirmed that my beautiful brother was suffering with Paranoid Schizophrenia so he was sectioned again for his own protection. He had to remain in hospital for the first week under special care having 10min obs, this meant that he wasn't allowed off the ward (which was locked) without supervision. I'd have to visit him every day especially at meal times, so that i could taste the food offered to make sure it wasn't 'poisoned', if i couldn't visit he'd go hungry. On my visits i noticed a lot of amosity between my brother and one of the care workers, but i put it down to me caring too much if you know what i mean. Once his medication and sedatives had his condition under control he was allowed to visit me for short periods of time. I was in the process of arranging for Mark to come and live with me and was indeed rearranging my home so that he could have a room of his own without having to share with my son. He was coming home with me on 10th Oct with lots of support for me to help me cope but due to the Mark's mental health i wasn't allowed to tell him until the day i went to collect him.
On 7th Oct Mark came to visit me for a couple of hours, he'd brought with him a gorgeous onyx ring in the shape of a heart, he'd lovingly bought it for my birthday which was the 9th Oct. When it was time for him to return to the hospital he said he'd seen a car with four men inside, each of these men had guns and were going to kill him if he went outside. I contacted the hospital who arranged for a taxi to collect him from here and take him back to the hospital, it is with heavy heart that i say it was the last time i was to see him alive. In the evening we spoke on the phone and i told him that i'd be in to see him the next day, he asked me to buy him some pop, crisps and pasties, we then said we loved eachother and said 'see you tomorrow'.
At 12.30am on the 8th Oct i was woken by a knock at my door, when i opened it i saw two female nurses from the ward Mark was on and i knew instantly that he was dead. I can remember screaming 'Not my baby bro, please not my baby bro'. :'(
The nurses lead me into the living room and told me that Mark had asked if he could have a bath shortly after speaking to me. They told me that he had been checked on at 10.10pm and was said to be in the bath washing and all was well. At 10.20pm when he was checked again he was found dead - Hanging from the bathroom door frame by his bootlace. I didn't believe this because Mark was in good spirits when i'd spoken to him and no way would a bootlace hold his weight without snapping. He was about 5ft 8in and weighed approx 18stone plus the door frame was only 6ft off the floor with an opening at the top for security purposes. I contacted the police officers that had attended the death scene, they told me that my brother had not had a bath that night, there was no sign of his towel or toiletries and the bath was DRY, they also said that he had a ball of dry silver hair in one of his hands. If Mark had taken a bath as described by a 'male nurse' the bath would have been WET and where did the hair come from? My brother's hair was ginger !!! I didn't believe that my brother had committed suicide and although the hospital didn't approve i insisted on a post mortem. After the PM (at a different hospital) i was asked to identify him which was to take place on my birthday 9th Oct. My brother Johnny came with me because i felt i couldn't do it alone and after i confirmed Mark was my brother we were allowed to spend some time with him. This is going to sound disgusting to most of you but when we were left alone i just had to look at Mark's body, call it instinct but i had a feeling something wasn't quite right. He had no bruising other than that left by the PM but i noticed that he had a puncture wound to the inside of his right elbow, this i thought strange because all his medication had been given orally. I asked the assistant at the mortuary if any injection had been given for any reason and was told no. I then contacted the hospital to have a copy of all his medical records sent to me, at first they refused so i contacted a solicitor who then contacted the hospital on my behalf. I eventually got all his records which confirmed he had recieved no injection prior to his death and had no way of getting it himself... As we all know all meds in a hospital are locked away.
My solicitor contacted the coroners office and arranged to have an inquest into Mark's death which took several months.
In the meantime i arranged his funeral and had a call from the hospital to ask if some of the staff could attend. I gave permission for the two nurses who came to my home permission to attend but felt i couldn't trust any of the others until i knew the truth. At Mark's funeral my daughter who was just 11yrs old wrote a few words to read out in Marks memory, she found it difficult so i tried my hardest to continue for her but my tears were flowing to readily and i couldn't read the words. The nurse who i had grown to trust came to our rescue and continued for us. It was a very touching moment for his family and many friends who had filled the church. Mark's service was beautiful and going into the church we played 'he aint heavy, he's my brother' and leaving we played 'you'll never walk alone'. Mark was a great supporter of Liverpool FC so i thought that song would be perfect. Outside the church a young lady approached me and said the words i'll never forget... I loved Mark with all my heart and i just wish i had had the guts to tell him how i felt but i was afraid of rejection. Mark was then cremated and his ashes buried with his mum and dad.
THE INQUEST
I had a barrister fighting my case at the hearing in April 97 and several witnesses were called. One of the police officers told a different story to the hospital as stated above and the male nurse who had 'found' my brother had SILVER HAIR, he also had issues with my brother but as i said earlier i thought i was being the over protective big sister. This so called male nurse had NO QUALIFICATIONS in mental health care, so even the coroner was surprised that he was in the environment of caring for sick mental health patients. This nurse claims that he heard Mark washing in the bath and asked if he was ok, but the evidence of the police says different. He said that Mark had not been given any injections prior to his death and when asked about the needle mark he said he had no idea as to why he had this mark. After he had given his 'lying evidence' he practically ran from the court room with his head bowed, if he had nothing to hide he would have stayed throughout the rest of the hearing, not run away like the liar he really is.
The judge said that he couldn't decide whether or not Mark was helped in any way to commit suicide, had no proof where the ball of hair had come from or who gave the injection, so he could only offer an open verdict.

Mark
I don't know what happened to you that night but i'll never forgive myself for putting you in hospital and not telling you that you were coming home to stay with me. You were a wonderful person and would help anyone in need. I'll never forget you my angel and i hope you're happy now that you're with mum and dad.
Sleep peacfully bro xxxxxxxxx